The road gets lonely as I make my way down the somber path. I sense that I have lost my direction, but my compass guides my every footstep. Why did this path have to be so twisted and burdensome? I feel my feet run out from under me, then lag behind vainly trying to muster up another step. One minute the world looks calm, and the stars twinkle brightly, lighting my dusty path. The next minute blackness surrounds me, and I am engulfed in an endless abyss unable to escape.
Is life like this for everyone? I know that we all face trials, and mine may be nothing in comparison to yours, but that does not diminish the value of my suffering or victory. I press on trying to gather my courage to accomplish the feats before me. I do not know if I can handle it alone, but I know somewhere deep in my soul that I am not alone.
Somewhere in Florida is the man that I love. My husband cheers me on from a distance as he faces his own struggles to finish school and bring himself safely back to me. Somewhere I have family, who love and support me, even though I often feel the lack of their embrace. Somewhere I have friends who admire my ambition and desire to see me succeed. Most importantly, I know that God is watching over me. He is not simply somewhere; rather, He is everywhere.
God is everywhere? Is this a concept that I can grasp? I want to be able to grab this thought and run with it. God is not at home, while I am at school. God is not hiding behind the altar waiting for me to come to pray, and yet not willing to meet me on the sidewalk. He is there. He is everywhere all the time. He is watching me and holding me. He is taking care to direct my steps (although I get to choose whether or not I follow His direction). What an awesome concept! God is always there!
As I prepare for classes at Candler School of Theology tomorrow, I need to embrace this thought. It has to be more than a simple acknowledgment. As I begin to instruct the children in the children’s ministry at The Point, it must become my reality. God is there! He will grant me wisdom if I truly desire it. He will hold me accountable, and rebuke me when I make the choice to disobey Him.
This is a comfort to me. I now know that I have never been alone on this difficult pathway. I simply needed to allow myself to be open to the revelation of God. This will remain a bewildering thought for me. I am sure, as I make my way further down the road, I will stumble and fall. I am confident that on occasion I will embrace the “absence” that I feel, yet the truth does not fade into the distance. It is still shining in the starlight and dancing in the sunset. God is there.